I hate posting something about “me” here, even if I own this blog. I tried to delete this post but I can’t, my hands won’t follow my brain.

Whenever I feel sad, alone & hurt, I cry. I think it’s normal, but other than that I write things that bother me, things that can never be erased in my head. I know it’s not the right way, ’coz when I post it here, I can remember every detail of that problem.

COLORS SEEMS TO FADE AWAY && TURNED TO GREY
I wish I am a painting, made by a stranger.
I was smiling in that painting, that no matter how many years will past,
I’m still there smiling, just like before. But an element destroyed me,

my colorful colors went down when water was splash through me
I turned into an ugly painting and no one dares to see me.

One moment, can be a lifetime scene in your life. When I step into a room, for sure problems would arise; YES I’m a trouble maker.
I tried to open my heart to these people around me, but I just can’t feel their love. Is there any love? I never do good deeds in a day; instead I created abundant troubles/problems. I have no one to rely on, at an early age my mom was taken by God. So when a problem strikes me, I talk to myself alone. There is no one, who cares to listen to my burden, except myself. Others can’t understand who I am really. Maybe I’m insane, but my brain is still in condition & its working. I didn’t ask for it, but usually it finds me. “Oh, problems why do love to see me crying?” it’s just money, why is it so important to them? It can’t pay my tears and it makes me angry. YES, I’m hell stupid! `coz you consider me like that, you always put me down, instead of pushing me up, encouraging me to fight for that goal. Do we really have the same blood? I’m so weak, I can’t make a clear decision to myself. I really want to end this but I shouldn’t listen to the evil thoughts running in my head.

Lastly, I’m hurt. Not because of this damn situation. It’s because of hurting the one I treasure most. I can’t tell a single word. Knowing that he won’t understand what I want. My tongue was cut & my heart was torn. I didn’t mean to see you like this, forgive me.

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